The Huge Bag of Worries

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As a child psychologist who specialized in work with anxious children, I often had kids write down their worries and put the paper in a worry box. The relief for most children was immediate because they could name their worry, write it down and then put the paper into a closed container. The worry was contained and therefore felt more manageable. Initially, I used a simple box with a lid and named it the Worry Box. With the writing of my children’s book on worry, the worry box was enhanced to be a child-created monster that can be as unique, ugly, crazy or silly as the child wants. One alternative to a traditional, physical worry box is an imaginary worry box. This method may be more suitable for older kids who have developed the necessary imagination skills to visualise a mental box to store their worries. The ease of accessibility and portability of an imaginary worry box can make it an attractive option. However, it might not offer the same level of satisfaction or comfort that handling a physical box can provide.

To make a worry box, all you need is a container (this could be a box, jar, or even a small bag) that can be decorated or personalised in any way your child prefers. They write or draw their worries on pieces of paper and place them inside the worry box. Your child will learn to “externalise” their anxious thoughts and feelings. It also also offers an opportunity for problem-solving, discussion, validation and emotional exploration. For young children under 10, a worry box can be a brilliant introduction to identifying and sharing your worries. But they may need more help than you think. Identifying your worries is an advanced skill, especially if you have multiple worries swirling around in your mind. Sit with your child and try to help them label and makes sense of their big feelings.

Should you look at what your child writes? Technically, no. The box is meant to be a safe place where the child can write down anything and not have it “discovered.” Instead, you could set up a worry time when your child can discuss her worries with you. Worry time is also a form of containment because it restricts the time the child can dwell on her worries with an adult. You can set up the time specially for the child, say from 4:00 to 4:20 every afternoon. If at 4:20 your child is not through discussing her worries, ask her to write down the worries and put them into the worry box. Tell her that she can take them out to discuss tomorrow at the same time. There are numerous ways people have found to contain worries. It is often a matter of naming the worry and then putting the worry somewhere in time and space. Some of the most successful methods include journal writing, drawing. imagining shrinking the worry, setting up a specific "worry time" and using a worry box. In my professional work, I used all of these techniques, both together and separately. I often combined the worry box with worry time, which is described below. How to make a worry box

This is not easy to do when you feel worried about something. Asking them to stop thinking about it may even make them more focused on the worries. They may feel it is an “unfinished business” or they may worry they will forget about it.Your monster could be any color and have anything added to it. There are endless ideas on the web if you look under “monsters made out of tissue boxes” or just DIY monsters. Let this monster be your child’s creation. The important concept is to have a mouth or a slot where your child can insert a paper with a written or drawn worry. How to use a worry box This may work well if your child is capable of using their imagination and visualize the concept of a worry box. Each of them has its own pros and cons, they may require certain skill sets and work in different contexts.

You may have read about this very same concept described as a Feelings Box, Acceptance Box, or Anxiety Box. Create a worry monster (optional):If you’d like to make the worry box more engaging for your child, consider turning the tissue box opening into the “mouth” of a worry monster. Use your art supplies to create a monster face. Attach googly eyes, triangular pieces of card for teeth, or even a pipe cleaner antenna with a sign reading “FEED ME WORRIES!” You can also help your children to relieve anxiety and stress with this Homemade Stress Ball activity. Dr Lucy Russell is a UK clinical psychologist who works with children and families. Her work involves both therapeutic support and autism assessments. She is the Clinical Director of Everlief Child Psychology, and also worked in the National Health Service for many years. give them a physical way of getting rid of their worries, so they don’t need to carry them around anymore

Or you may have come across slight variations that use different types of containers like jars. Those would be your Worry Jars, Feelings Jars, or Anxiety Jars. Worry boxes are containers into which children can post their anxious thoughts. Children can find them soothing because they: The next step is to schedule “Worry Time”. Worry time is a set time of day when your child has permission and is encouraged to worry as much as he or she wants. This specific time serves as another way to contain the worries. The key is to remember that when worry time is over, you and your child know that the worrying must end for the day.

During the review process, you could help them assess the severity of each worry by using a scale of 1 to 10. One is the least worried and 10 being the most worried. Now, your child has a personalised worry box that can help them manage their worries and big feelings more effectively. Give it time for this tool to “bed in” as part of their healthy lifestyle and really start making an impact. Take out each worry from the box, read it, and spend some time reflecting on it together Allow your child to feel, analyze, and process the worry. Try to help them “detach” from the worry. For example, how might they help a friend with this same concern? Helping children to understand their emotions and worries can promote positive mental health. It also means that children can relate to others better, contributing to social skills. At my clinic, Everlief, a very high percentage of the children and young people I work with have sleep difficulties. Often the main cause is worry.

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As well as this worry bag activity, there are lots of other ways you can help your children to think and talk about their worries and emotions. We've got these brilliant teacher-made resources for you to try: By using the worry jar, at some point your child will likely tell you that he or she is no longer worrying about something he or she had previously put in the jar. This is the exciting part for your child as this discovery represents success at overcoming a worry! Celebrate these moments together and make a big deal out of it. Have your child remove the worry and rip it up. In my clinical work, I have found that being creative and making the strategies concrete and come to life improves their effectiveness and usefulness, especially with young children. I encourage you to do the same in helping your child. The Worry Jar Aim to stay flexible, attentive and responsive to the needs of your child. Explore different alternatives, discuss their pros and cons, and work together to find the approach that best supports their emotional wellbeing. Summary