The Way I Used to Be

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The lovely young lady gets raped by the best friend of his brother. Thirteen years old. How a brief period of time—just five minutes—can completely alter your personality and transform you into someone you never would have imagined becoming. Rose wrote a great positive review for this book and I just wanted to borrow her comparison to Ellen Hopkins. Hopkins is a much-loved author, but after liking one of her books, I soon started seeing them as torture porn. And I still think Hopkins's stories and characters do not have any depth, do not explore new areas or challenge you to think - they are one long misery ride through increasingly atrocious events (rape followed by drug abuse followed by their mom dying...). This book is a bit like that. A single act can change your life forever. In Eden's case, the five minutes in which she was raped send her into a spiral of desperation and despair, so that there are times when she doesn't even recognize herself anymore. The things that she did and her way of coping was annoyingly painful. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to speak up, tell them. But i just watched her suffer and hurt everyone around her until she was left all alone💔

I would have to say that if you have been raped, this book will either destroy you or make you feel less alone, but it may be a trigger so please read at your own risk. I hate all of this happened to Edy. If she would have only told when it happened, but we are not all the same. Some have to hide it, feel like they have to at any rate. Please don't hide this girls, call the cops, get it out. YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE IN THIS FIGHT! As the novel continues through Eden’s 4 years of high school, it subtly (and not so subtly) shows how the rape changed her forever. Now, obviously, anyone would be a different person after such a traumatic event. That being said, it doesn’t mean I have to like the changed person afterwards. My example being: Eden. I thought she was fine in the beginning, but the person she turned into was terrible and heartbreaking. I didn’t like her at all. Not only that, but alongside her terrible character, I noticed that some of the chapters were not nearly as good as the others—noticeably so. While there were a fair number of loose ends and some plot threads that could have been better developed (I don't need everything tied up, btw, some aspects were just crying out to be further explored) I appreciated that the story does not end with Eden being rescued by a boy--and she realizes she has to save herself. The Way I Used To Be is a debut novel that shares the story of Eden who struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault. Starting high school didn't change anything for Eden, she is still the good girl she ever was. But her world crashes down the night her brother's best friend rapes her in her own bedroom. Everything that was simle becomes complex. All that she loved, she now hates. Nothing makes sense anymore. She knows she should say something, but she can't, instead buring everything that has happened. And she buries the way she used to be.

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uh this book ripped my heart out but i loved every second of it. i dont think ive read a book that handles rape this well since i read speak. and speak is like extraordinary, so that's definitely a compliment. i really really enjoyed this book and i found eden to be one of the most developed characters i've ever read about. I wish we got more to that ending. Everything happened then the book simply ended. We didn't really get to see what happened after. How Eden heals and starts opening up to more people. We don't really get to see any reconciliation between Eden and her parents or Eden and her friends. I just wish we got to see what the ending has brought and how it shaped the main character's life anew. Asides from Eden and the shifting chapters, a character I really enjoyed was Josh—even if I didn’t understand why he put up with Eden’s crap; though I guess that’s what love does to you. Still. He was a real sweetheart to her when no one else was. I mean, the way he agreed to meet up with Eden (after they’d been broken up for years), because she “needed to see him” was beyond me. No guy would do that nowadays, without at least some explanation (at least, I don’t think so). Then again, like my mom always tells me: “It’s not reality; you’re reading a book! Stop confusing the two!” The story itself has its own issues such as weak characterization and the timeskips through her four years of high school result in a lot of probably-important scenes being lost. For instance, the moment Eden went from calling her parents by their names instead of Mom and Dad. That's a pivotal moment in a character's development, but all I know is it happened sometime between her junior and senior years. The Way I Used To Be utterly failed to live up to its potential. The Way I Used To Be is a fantastic portrayal of trauma. I cannot remember the last time I had such an intense, emotional response to a book, especially one that is not a part of a series that I had already been invested in. I wanted SO BADLY for Eden to tell someone what had happened to her, more than I think I have ever wanted a character to do ANYTHING. Eden’s story is raw, unflinching, emotional, powerful, and so so real. This book is not for the faint of heart – it is gritty and destructive, yet moving.

The book follows Eden who’s a normal and a very good nerdy girl. She’s about to start high school and continue with her happy life but all that changes when her brother bestfriend rapes her and threatens her not to tell anyone because no one will believe her if she did. It's pretty hard talking about this. Not only it's a hardhitting book, but I don't feel like I am making it justice with my review. This book is amazing. There may be times when you feel like slapping Eden, but in the end your heart just breaks for her. She is this teenager doing her best to survive a world that continues to try and breal her. I'll echo the author's resource note at the end and include the free hotline for the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network: 1-800-656-HOPE. If you need someone, please know help is available and confidential.It’s not often that I’m at a loss for words, because, well, I’m a writer, and usually I have too many words for any given situation. But after finishing this book, my heart was pounding and I couldn’t find words big enough to describe how brilliant, beautiful, and powerful it is. Those words just don’t seem to do it justice. None do. Amber Smith's "The Way I Used to Be" is an emotional experience; I can't say that there was a point that I had a dry eye upon finishing this book. One would expect something to that effect given the difficult subject matter of the book, centering on a young woman who was raped by her brother's best friend when she was a freshman then following her downward spiral through four years of silence. Don’t be embarrassed,” she says with a laugh. “It’s fine, really, I promise.” She stands over me, looking taller than she ever has before, handing me my robe, oblivious of my Tuesday underwear crumpled at her feet. The pacing in some parts of the books was too fast. We were robbed for many of the important scenes! When and how she started calling her parents by their names not Mom and Dad. The story follows a girl named Eden. She was always good at being good, even after starting high school. But the night her brother's best friend Kevin rapes her, her entire world capsizes. Everything she thought she knew was a lie, and everyone she thought she trusted ended up betraying her. What - and who- she once loved, she now hates. Nothing in her life makes sense anymore, and Eden can't bring herself to tell anyone what happened. So she buries the girl she once was - the way she used to be. Eden is thrown into a vortex of hatred, both for her abuser and herself, and this changes her completely. This book is told in four parts - freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year, revealing the deep cuts of trauma.